The collaborative habit
Review of the wonderful book ‘The Collaborative Habit’ by Twyla Tharp, where she talks about leadership without using that word even once. It’s about the leader who understands that leading is collaborating.
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[Ligia Fascioni]
2/4/20254 min read


The Collaborative Habit
I decided to buy this book because I had really liked ‘The Creative Habit’ by the same author. So, ‘The Collaborative Habit’ by Twyla Tharp was a natural follow-up, right?
Actually, more than a natural sequel, the reason is that I increasingly realize that collaboration is the most important thing a human being can learn.
There’s another book, one of the best I’ve ever read, called ‘The Illusion of Knowledge’ (Steven Sloman and Philip Fernbach), which supports the idea that individual intelligence is overestimated; the ability to collaborate is much more important.
Twyla doesn’t use the term ‘leader’ directly, but that’s exactly what she does, as there is no collaboration without leadership.
But first, let’s introduce this wonderful woman and her background, in case you haven’t read her previous book.
Twyla is one of the greatest American choreographers in history: she choreographed the sensational performance where the Russian dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov dances with the master of American tap dance, Gregory Hines, in the unforgettable movie ‘White Nights’; she designed all the dances for the legendary musical ‘Hair’ by Milos Forman.
Later, she worked with the same director on the film ‘Amadeus.’ She also did numerous works for the theater, collaborating with musicians like Bob Dylan, Abbot Costello, and Billy Joel. I
n short, if there’s someone who understands collective building, it’s her.
Twyla is a leader, but she defines herself as a professional collaborator (which is not wrong, as leaders also collaborate).
I like to use the definition that says a leader is someone who needs help to accomplish something. Of course, because if they can do it alone, they are not a leader; they are an executor. When things are bigger or more complex than what one person can handle, they need collaborators to help.
A leader is someone who needs help to accomplish something. [Ligia Fascioni]
And that’s what Twyla does: she can’t dance alone in a performance that requires dozens of dancers, musicians, assistants, lighting designers, producers, costume designers, and many other professionals. So, she seeks help. And makes it happen.
In this book, she gives some tips that worked for her and uses her own professional life as an example to show how she arrived at the conclusions she shares.
WHY COLLABORATION IS IMPORTANT
In the first part, she explains why collaboration is so important, reinforcing the arguments of the authors I mentioned earlier. But she draws attention to a fact that I hadn’t realized until then.
Despite collaboration bringing us to this point, most of us grew up in an environment where only individual achievements were celebrated. I don’t know about you, but I grew up in a quite competitive school environment, where individual grades were much more important than teamwork.
People celebrate entrepreneurs, scientists, artists, and politicians as if their achievements were individual and the result of their own talent, not the result of teamwork.
Now, it seems that things are starting to change (because people realized that in this model, most collaborators can’t reap the rewards of their work, and only a few get the credit and profits).
The buzzword is collaboration. And people need to learn how to do that after so much time competing.
Twyla says you can’t force people to collaborate. You can share the office or studio, be a colleague on a committee or board, be on the same team — but if the heart isn’t in it, the process is like a dry shell and doesn’t flourish, doesn’t bear fruit. It’s purely bureaucratic participation.
According to her (with which I totally agree), collaborators are not born; they are built and educated, one day at a time, through practice, attention, discipline, passion, commitment, and, above all, HABIT. At the same time, we are wired to collaborate, as if it were a second nature that needs to be awakened.
Another thing I loved was this definition:
Collaboration is the recognition that there is more life, opportunities, knowledge, and dangers than we can handle alone. [Twyla Tharp]
Twyla also talks about managing expectations: the best collaboration happens when each person knows what is expected of them. And, more than that, any intelligent person learns more by example than by any other method. So, the leader has to be an example of what they expect from each one, whether it’s kindness, commitment, or respect.
INSTITUTIONS
She also talks about the difficulty of collaborating with an institution or company, rather than an individual. Before starting any project, the choreographer makes a list of all the resources she needs to ensure that the institution will be able to provide them, for example (it’s the same expectation management applied on a larger scale). Everything must be planned and documented, and you must know and understand well the person who will represent the institution in communications.
Another thing to keep in mind is that institutions, however open they may seem, have as their intrinsic mission to preserve their survival, and for that, they will defend their status quo as much as they can, shielding themselves from outsiders with challenges and very different ideas. So, communication here is essential, more than in any other situation.
FRIENDS AS COLLABORATORS?
And collaboration between friends for a project? This is a big question for Twyla, who always avoids working with close friends but often ends up making good friends through collaborations.
But caution is needed because, as she says, a good collaborator is easier to find than a good friend. In fact, finding a true friend is at the top of the hierarchy of difficult things; so, the best thing to do is protect that rare relationship. Working together can jeopardize that.
MILOS FORMAN
Twyla presents a series of lessons she learned from the director of ‘Hair’ and ‘Amadeus’. Here are some of them.
Never shout. Never.
If you’re about to shout, step away and go to sleep (in his case) or exercise (in her case).
Clear, precise communication without room for ambiguity makes all the difference.
Collaborators need attention; gently touching people to enhance connection can show that you really care about what they are feeling.
Listening to suggestions from everyone involved greatly improves the group’s spirit.
Saying ‘thank you’ is never too much. Repeat on every occasion, with every small gesture, until you get used to saying it dozens of times a day.
CONCLUSION
Twyla also talks about difficult collaborators who challenge the work and make things more complicated, and also about remote collaboration (sometimes there’s no other way).
This inspiring leader wrote an entire book about leadership without ever using that word and always emphasizing collaboration: she really understood the spirit of it more than any leader I know.
And to conclude, this sentence that says it all:
‘Every collaboration is a love story’ [Twyla Tharp]
And it is.